The sun will come out tomorrow

Today I watched the new version of the film “Annie” with Jamie Fox and Rose Byrne and I have to say it is actually pretty good! They’ve slightly adapted the story to fit today’s society and updated the songs, they’ve done a really good job of it. There is couple of new songs made for the film and they give a really good message to everyone.

The classic song “the sun will come out tomorrow” gives a really positive message that today may not be your day but there is always another chance tomorrow because tomorrow is a new day and who knows what will happen.

A new song they have is about opportunities and doing the best you can with hand of cards your dealt in life, maximising every opportunity thrown your way and remembering there is always a way through everything.

Another new one added is about starting over and changing your life if your not happy, there is always time to change what you’re doing and how you’re doing it.

On a hangover day today like mine is, after birthday celebrations last night, it really boosted my positivity! So just remember tomorrow is another day and another opportunity.

Positivity

Today I’m all about positivity!

I recently lost a very good friend due to my negativity and bad attitude more often than not and it made me think, why was I so angry and negative most of the time when I had no reason to be?

Scientifically speaking it actually uses more effort and energy to be angry, upset and negative than it does to be happy and positive. So I’ve started using an idea a friend of mine is using at the moment by using a positivity box, everyday I put in all the positive things from that day and then when I feel negative or angry or upset I can read through it and remember what I have to be happy about. I have to say it is working!

Also I noticed that I worry about all most everything, even the smallest most insignificant things like someone not texting me back. I normally take everything to heart so if someone didn’t text me back I would think “they clearly don’t want to talk to me” or “what have I done wrong?”. It made me think of my brother, one of the most laid back people I know, nothing phases him! I remember I asked him once why nothing worries him in life and he said one of the most valuable sentences I’ve heard…

Worrying about problems won’t fix the problem, if anything you make it worse because you turn a molehill into a mountain.

Until now I’ve never really taken that leaf out of his book because even though I knew he was right I just didn’t want to practice it. Just thinking positively and trying to find the silver lining in any situation really does minimise the issue so you can think rationally about the solution. Positive Mental Attitude is a big player in being happy, just thinking positively makes a whole world of difference to your mood.

So guys my words of wisdom today are…

Think positive!

Find that silver lining in all situations because I promise there is one somewhere!

Don’t let anything worry you, the universe will continue to move no matter how bad you think something is.

Is Facebook really that important?

Everyone’s idea of important is different. I personally class important as life changing, something that will have a huge impact on me. In relation to a question that I’ve heard a lot lately ‘is really Facebook that important’ I mainly mean do we as humans need it in our life to survive socially. I’m about to delete my account permanently, well the request has gone through I just need to wait 14 days for it to be done, I’ve deactivated my account a few times because I’ve wanted a break from social media and in a sense wanted to disappear for a while but I found myself always going back. I became obsessed with being noticed, how many friends I had, how likes my statuses and photos got, how many birthday messages, I even got obsessed with being invited to events. Facebook seems to be the be all and end all of life these days but why?

Recently me and friend fell out and she deleted/unfollowed me off all social media except Facebook, we were still “friends” on Facebook. When I I found out she had removed me if everything else I was going to delete her off my Facebook but when I got to the “unfriend” button I just couldn’t do it. It really got me thinking about why I couldn’t hit a button on a social media website, as far as friends go, it was clear that she didn’t want anything to do with me in any other sense of the word friends but Facebook is in a league of its own. If you unfriend someone on Facebook it’s official you hate them more than anyone else in the world, it’s the definition of your friendship… apparently! I’ve happily deleted people off my Facebook who I never speak to or have only met once but people who you have been friends with but are no longer it’s a big no no.

So it got me thinking, why do I have Facebook? To keep in contact with friends and family and to share photos with them. I had nearly 500 friends on Facebook and how many of them do I speak to? How many do I really know? How many are actually my friends? Probably about 10% of them.

I’ve come to the realisation that Facebook seems to have taken over my perception of life and is the decider of everything! If Facebook wasn’t around and I didn’t like someone I wouldn’t pretend to be friends with them in real life so why do we do it in the¬†virtual world? I’ve read many posts from other bloggers about how Facebook has affected them in different ways and most of them explain how it’s great for exposure in business and networking but as far as friends go and socialising if they didn’t have Facebook nothing would change.

So many people obsess over what other people are doing, envy their lives and think Facebook life is everything and more important that real life. I was one of them until now.

Facebook, it’s been fun over the last 8 years but it’s time to rejoin the real world. The actual world we live in where people talk on the phone and face to face.

Change?

Since coming back to the UK last year a lot has changed… But what is it?

I worked as a Mortgage Advisor for Lloyds bank for 4 years and my whole department got made redundant so I had to find a completely new place to work. ¬†Lots of my close friends were friends because I worked with them initially but now I don’t work them we’ve drifted apart to the point where now we’re barely even talking. I’m closer to my parents than ever yet I spend less time talking to them now than when I was living in Australia.

So what really changed?

I left Lloyds to go to Australia because I was bored of what my life had become there and wanted a new adventure/chapter of my life so it was really a blessing in disguise that I left when I did. I got experience being a backpacker on the other side of the world something not everyone gets to do in their lifetime and if I chance I’d do it again in a heartbeat. When I returned from Australia I started working for an estate agents with directors who didn’t care about anything apart from money and themselves. I wasn’t happy and wished my old job was still there so I left knowing I had no job to go to and had to start the job hunting process again. Why was I unhappy with this new change of work in the first place?

The people I was so close to before, I’ve come to realise it’s not because we no longer work together as to why we’re not that close anymore it’s because of who I was when I returned. I didn’t make much effort with them, I was in a really bad place mentally always snapping for no reason and horrific mood swings. People didn’t want to be around me whereas before they didn’t have a choice. I was obsessed with having friends around me when certain friends would let me down I’d take my anger and upset out on my friends who stuck by me which naturally resulted in those friends not wanting me around. I’ve never dealt with bad situations very well, I don’t like to talk to people about my problems because I feel like I’m burdening them or that my problem isn’t big enough for them. I constantly overthink things and think the worst of anything, why?

Then when it comes to my parents, well I do almost do the same thing. They only ever do things for me, to keep me happy to make sure I have everything I need in life yet I treat them like they’re not important. Like I don’t appreciate what they do and have done for me. They bend over backwards to make me happy and it’s taken nearly 25yrs to realise it, why?

I suppose what I’m getting at is, what needs to change?

Me.

So what do I plan to do about it?

Well to start with when I comes to working I need to be happy in my job that can’t change but maybe I need to make the best out of a bad situation instead of running away. I’ve always been a determined person to be the best at any job I do no matter how hard it gets. I need to remember that one bad day doesn’t make a bad life (back to the overthinking thing) and I need to tell people when I’m struggling or having a bad time so they can maybe help.

Friends. To enjoy life friends play a huge part of it through the good, the bad and the ugly times. I need to take control of my emotions and be more open with people, if there is something wrong just tell them so they can understand what is going on. Keeping things bottled up doesn’t help anyone. Take a step back and look at the whole picture, the bigger picture. Why do I have down days? Why do I get in bad moods? When I look back at a lot of the times I’ve been a class A b***h to people there has been absolutely no reason! I get angry and irritable easily, the smallest most insignificant things can rile me, that needs to change and it needs to change now. I’ve already lost a few very good, close friends over this and something needs to be done. I’ve bought a self help book on controlling anger and irritability so fingers crossed that gives me some insight.

Then my parents, the people who have cared for me since I was born. Loved me no matter what. Through all the stupid things I’ve done they still care about me. I take them for granted, which until I just wrote those words, I hadn’t realised. My actions and words upset them so much sometimes and no matter how many times they tell me it just doesn’t click that I’m being so hurtful. I’ve spent so much time on my own and I think I’ve go used to be so independent that now I hate being around people all the time that includes my parents. Even if they’re at work all day and I only see them in the evenings I still don’t want to spend time with them. Well I didn’t until now. I spend all my time at home in my bedroom only going downstairs when I need food or to check the post. How sad is that! As a baby step I’m going to start forcing myself to sit downstairs with my parents when they are home until 8pm. Sitting in my bedroom on my own has become part of my life, not sitting there (well here because that’s where I am right now) has become so alien and out of my comfort zone.

Change? As long as it’s for the better it doesn’t really matter what it is, if it makes you happy then surely it’s the right thing to do?

The start

So after years of contemplating a blog I’ve finally made the leap. Hoping there will be some like minded people out there experiencing everyday life like me, tomorrow I will write my first post about what’s going on.

 

theexbackpacker